Sunday, July 23, 2006

Old Dog, Old Tricks

Ago. For the longest time, my whole life, everything vital or important, was “ago.” Twenty years ago…

Twenty years ago today, I was a little more than two months from embarking upon the most successful enterprise of my life. The one that would take fully two more years to develop into the experience of a lifetime.

I was thirty-one years old. I thought I was mature. I thought I was experienced. I thought I knew so much.

Funny how, now, I look at thirty-one-year-olds and think of them as “kids.” Young. Callow. Green.

I would have been pissed, back in 1986, to find out that someone thought that of me.

Yet, la plus ca change, la plus c’est la meme.

I am fifty-one years old. And embarking upon what I hope to be the most successful enterprise of my life. So far.

The bags under my eyes, the shooting pains in my feet, the aching joints in my fingers, have me wondering whether I yet possess the physical stamina to get me through the fourteen-hour days, the ninety-degree heat…the demands that a thirty-year-old body could meet with alacrity, but a fifty-year-old body struggles to conquer.

Are the blessings that I seek from this new venture really too much for this more-than-half-used life-force to hope to attain?

I cannot believe that. I won’t.

But when I drag myself into bed after too many consecutive hours of putting out fires and walking tightropes over boiling oil, I wonder, at least briefly:

Is it worth it?

There can only be one answer.

12 comments:

Robbie said...

What's the answer?!?

I used to be an "ago" person. I measured everything in how long ago something had been. It was x years since I lived x. It was x years since I graduated from x. It was x years since I last saw x. And on and on. I've gotten away from that and now it just all seems a blur.

I'm getting close to forty and the idea that someone might consider me a "young'un" is exciting.

emmapeelDallas said...

It's definitely worth it. Do not go gently into that good night...and btw, I'm 56 to your 51, so I can say this!

I'm excited about your new venture, and I just have a good feeling about it.

Judi

ckays1967 said...

now...I KNOW you consider me a puppy but my MS makes me feel like I am 80 physically.

So, I say that YES it is worth it.

No one can fire you.

Amen sister.

Amen.

No one can tell you how it should be done.

And if you don't like how someone is doing something you can tell them to fix it. And help them become better.

Now That is Ownership.

Now, what you need to do is delegate.

xxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxoo


How was your birthday sweetness?

ckays1967 said...

now...I KNOW you consider me a puppy but my MS makes me feel like I am 80 physically.

So, I say that YES it is worth it.

No one can fire you.

Amen sister.

Amen.

No one can tell you how it should be done.

And if you don't like how someone is doing something you can tell them to fix it. And help them become better.

Now That is Ownership.

Now, what you need to do is delegate.

xxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxoo


How was your birthday sweetness?

gigi said...

Ah ha! So it was your birthday ~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

And revel in your new found success. Whatever the aches and pains, being a 'so far' person beats the hell out of being an 'ago' one. We are older than we were true, but younger than we ever will be again. Enjoy! :)

Cynthia said...

Hell, yes, you can do it. It's just been awhile since you've had to do it on such a consistent basis, and you haven't gotten back in your groove yet. I think it will be worth it as well. Love you.

Cynthia said...

Oh, and a late but well intentioned Happy Birthday!

Andrea Rusin said...

I'll bet you do it, succeed at it, and RELISH it. That's what I bet.

ckays1967 said...

if we run across eachother in the halls we should wave...hehehehehe

it is GOOD to be so tired.

so good.


xxoo

V said...

Oops!
Happy Birthday!
V

Gannet Girl said...

Ha! I knew you were a young 'un! Happy Birthday, darlin'! I'll be 53 tomorrow and I have some similar concerns about my new venture but my plan is to ignore them.

So...does "similar" contain the letter "i" 2 times or 3? That is a recurring problematic question in my 50s.

Globetrotter said...

A belated but heartfelt Happy Birthday to you, Lisa.

I can so relate to what you're feeling,having begun painting at 54. The things that barely gave us pause at 31 are like major roadblocks at 51.

Take good care of yourself-lots of vitamins, green drinks and positive meditations.